I’m not sure why I force myself to try and write a blog post each month. I find it so frigging hard! I start with great intention, write a paragraph, get stuck, spend more time hitting delete than typing words, stare blankly at the computer screen, bite my nails, and then finally scratch the whole thing completely. What’s frustrating is that I know I can converse on many aspects of yoga no problem. But putting pen to paper (or more fingers to keyboard in this day and age) feels impossible. I can’t help but remember something that my high school English teacher said to me. “Michelle, you can talk about anything. But writing, it’s not your strong point.”
Those last few words seem to hang over me. I’m positive my teacher didn’t say what he said to hurt me or make me feel bad or insignificant. My assumption is, because he was a wonderful teacher who dedicated his life to his students and work, who made learning English interesting and fun, who had oodles of school spirit and told horribly awful bad jokes but you laughed anyway, is that he shared this with me to help me understand that writing wouldn’t come easy. That I might have to buckle down and really work at putting words to the page. That I might not write anything worth reading, but to write anyway so that I could make sure my message was heard in whatever capacity possible.
Fast forward 20 years later, here I am heavy with negativity and procrastination with my blog and other creative writing I’ve been struggling with, when I find this book titled Yoga from the Inside Out, by Christina Sell. It’s a book about making peace with the body through the practice of yoga. Among the authenticity and beautifully inspiring words her own, Christina quotes some of her teachers, one of them John Friend the founder of Anusara Yoga. In the chapter about Accepting What Is, she shares his reflection of the Sanskrit word anusara, which means ‘flow with grace’.
“Anusara is flowing with Grace, saying yes! to the whole spectrum of the magic of life. It is a willingness to be aware of all parts of ourselves - the light and the dark, the full rainbow of sensations, perception, emotions and thought. To be in the flow is to look at whatever arises with freshness and freedom. It is simply to open our hearts with love to the present moment without clinging or pushing. Anusara is accepting the world and ourselves as we are, and then responding with love.”
I share this post as a means to help me remain committed to the process of flowing with grace and to accept myself and my abilities as they are.